To quote my good friend, Drago, "Huell Howser is like the comfort food of television."
I'll cop to it - I'm a dark personality. That isn't to say I'm a depressing or negative person. I kind of pride myself in being a really nice guy who wears a black t-shirt, even I'm not wearing a black t-shirt.
It's just that as a rule - and especially when it comes to entertainment - I gravitate toward the alternative, some might say more sinister, side of things. I like movies that don't end in a nice, tight fucking bow. I like music that you're supposed to wear black jeans when you listen to it. I think that Jeff Dunham should be hit with a big mallot - by, not Gallagher, but his imposter brother - for each and every stage he's shuffled his stupid puppets on where the great Bill Hicks (God rest his soul) stood.
So given the choice between, say, Steely Dan or The Velvet Underground - the fuck you think my CD buying money's going to fucking go???
So given the choice between, say, Steely Dan or The Velvet Underground - the fuck you think my CD buying money's going to fucking go???
But this is not really a hardline way of being for me, either. I'm a big Twix bar - sure, I'm a little hardened, but there's a bit of gooey sweetness in there too.
Case in point: my unabashed love of Huell Howser. I'd say "California's Gold with Huell Howser," but that's just one show. Sure, all the other shows are pretty much the same, but there's a difference in Huell's mind, and that's what counts, isn't it? Sure, if it's "Visiting with Huell Howser," "California's Neighborhoods with Huell Hoswer," or even fucking "California's Green," it's all pretty much going someplace in California (most likely in Los Angeles), but to Huell, that fuckin' show, fuckever it is, is a horse of a different color. And you better recognize!
Let's be clear, too. I'm not watching the show(s) looking down my nose, giggling at him going, "Tee-hee-hee! Look at the bumpkin!" I really, really, REALLY fucking love Huell Howser's show(s). I get and appreciate what the cat is doing. I can't make a joke like:
"Ahr latest adventure [Everything's an "adventure" with Huell - a point of view one really has to admire!] is Jeannie's Clam Shack in beautiful, scenic Pismo Beach, California. "World-Famous" for thayr chowder, made daily, by Jeannie hersaylf. But the only clam Ah was interested in was between Jeannie's laygs. She appeared to not have experienced the touch of a man in a very long tahm, and Ah was only willing to oblahg. Ah gave her a 24-karat bar of California's Gold!
We started in the kitchen, where Jeannie and Ah made the kahnd of chowder you don't serve to the tourists. Cameron waited in the dahning room, getting footage of local yokels. Ah don't thank they knew what Ah meant when I yelled out, "HOT SOUP COMIN' THROUGH!!!" However, Ah couldn't help thankin' that Cameron dee-id.
You gettin' this Cam'run! Don't worry, you wee-ill. But you'll be getting California's Silver!"
...without having watched A LOT of footage. And I couldn't watch that many hours of anything if I didn't find it entertaining. I mean, I'm willing to commit to a bit and everything, but I don't have enough time to get the things done that I want done. Huell's my "me time." True story. One of my favorite things to do is park it on the couch with some "California's Gold" of my own, preferably a sativa, and get down to the fact that somebody out there doesn't think the whole picture is as bleak (yet still, strangely wonderful - for the record) as I see it.
I shall break now. But welcome to the tip of a very, very large, Titanic-sinking iceberg.
I SHILLS WHAT I LOVES!!!
The excellent bevvy of the Huell Howser stable of shows can be seen weekdays on Southern California PBS at 7:30 p.m., and it is repeated at 12:30 a.m. Those in The City of Angles can time it such that you can avoid That Fucker Jimmy Fallon's Corporate TV Clusterfuck by watching Huell and Comics Unleashed: with Byron Allen. But that's another passion for another day.
There's also an hour block of the show(s) on Sundays at 7:00 p.m. Come witness one of the few positive-angled shows that brings a smile to the face of The Clown Prince of Doom and Gloom.
[Just made that up. Not a bad schtick, when you put it that way!]
Those on the East Coast will have to check Huell out on Youtube.
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